Count your blessings & make some wishes!

Much as I like the general idea that we should be pleased with who we are - because of how in the end, self-esteem is more important than any other quality in my humble opinion - I still feel a little self-censure is good, on occasion.
It's what defines us, even more than our self-image.
Who we want to be is a huge part of who we actually are and how we look upon ourselves and others. That's also why I like reading about people's inspirations, they often tell you a lot about the person.

That is why, today, I am going to do two things:
I will count my blessings: with what aspects of myself am I most pleased? (can be very shallow, can include situations, can include characteristics)
and
I will make some wishes: what would I like to change - what do I aspire to? (can, likewise, include everything from material objects you want, a change of situation that would please you, characteristics you'd like to have)

Now, to make this more interesting, I would ask you all to do the same. Here in my comments section, or on your own blog - I like spreading the virus.

So so so...

1. I AM PLEASED WITH:

Shallow and materialistic:
I'll just come out and say it.
I love my skin.
It's soft and pretty and pretty much unblemished. I love taking care of it, and this - sadly, considering all the other good reasons - one of the reasons I want to quit smoking. I've got a good thing going here, and I'm kind of ruining it.
(on a sidenote: I hate the vaseline I need to take care of my tattoo with! It made the skin of my shoulder have a break-out the size of Chuck Norris' balls. Jesus.)


Pictured: Chuck Norris' balls.

I'm pleased that, though by no means rich, I can afford to spoil myself every once in a while. Like summer shoes, skin care products, some make-up, a cute shirt. In moderation, which makes it all the more fun.

Situation-wise:
I am pleased, usually, with the fact that I no longer live with my parents. Independence is a huge deal for me, and I think I'm reasonably good at it.

I adore the fact that I have a steady relationship. The Boy changed the way I look at the world (not meaning to sound sentimental) and I'm excessively pleased that we're moving in together in two months.

Without my trusted sidekick E., life wouldn't be the same. I've known her since fourth grade (when I started art academy on Saturday mornings) and we've been pretty much inseperable since then.
She now lives around the corner from my place, but as we're both moving, I'm afraid we'll see somewhat less of each other. I hope not.

I am very happy that (some of) my family is so very supportive of what I do, and I feel this as a huge blessing every single day.

Characteristics:
This is a doozy, as I don't mean to sound posh or arrogant. It's hard to define oneself exactly since we change so much depending on the situation, the people you're with, how you feel, but here goes:

I like that I'm there for my friends. A mild helping-complex, maybe? I feel good when people tell me about their troubles and I can offer them some advice or just listen. Seriously, it's endorfine-fest inside my head.

I like that I work well under pressure. Not so much that I have trouble working AT ALL without pressure.

I like spreading the sunshine. Smiling at a strange person on the street makes me feel good (unless they frown at me in return, which makes me feel disappointed).

There, so much for the bragging and counting of blessings.

2. WHAT DO I WANT TO CHANGE / ASPIRE TO?

Shallow and materialistic:

Well, first of all, not having to worry about money, ever, would be awesome. So financial security for me please!

Otherwise I must say there's not a whole lot I want in this area that I can't buy or get myself. I can buy new shoes if I want them, ya know. Nope, nothing shallow to ask for. (maybe a second tin of SteamCream)

Or, wait - not sure whether to list this as shallow or as characteristic, but I do want to quit smoking. Last time I tried I got into a hysterical crying fit and it took me two hours to calm down enough to go buy a new pack. So yeah. To quit smoking without feeling like all joy has been violently ripped from my very soul would be nice.

Situation-wise:

Let's see. Well, as I mentioned before, I would like to, eventually, get back on speaking terms with my dad, whom I haven't spoken to in 2 years.

I am in a great relationship, and don't want to see anything ruin that, and since that's not something that's entirely up to me, I guess that's something to wish for as well.

I have some awesome friends, but I feel like we don't see eachother enough. So, in the future, I'd like to fix that up a bit. Unfortunately, most of us still being in college makes that kind of hard, especially during exam periods &c.

Characterists/long-term goals:

I would love to get some more self-discipline.
I am smart. Don't mean to brag, but I am. I got through high school without ever having to worry about grades, and for the most part without studying. So now that I'm in University, things kind of changed.
In the sense that I now HAVE to try. Except I don't.
And I still pass most of my exams. I only had to retake two courses out of the twelve last year, and last semester, I passed everything. But I would feel a lot more comfortable if I started earlier and would be more satisfied with what I do.
So yes, getting myself to start studying earlier in the year would be something I'm working on.

I'd like to get a doctor's degree - but I know that's hardly possible. Your grades have to be top of the bill for that, and mine are just so-so. I get so frustrated with myself because I know I need good grades for both a doctor's degree and being reasonably secure of a job in a profession where there's way more people who want a job than there are jobs to be had. Luckily, I can still remedy, since you're final grade is compiled of all the grades in every year, but later years count for more than the first ones.

Okay, this is kind of a secret, because it sounds very lame and generic, as I am perfectly aware, but...
I want to write a novel.
There, I said it!
I did write one, when I was 13 or 14 years old, but that got rejected - publisher's note said that the style was very good, but my subject matter wanted maturity. Which, in retrospect, I heartily agree with, to the point of refusing to tell you what it was about.
I never finished any long story after that. I wrote a few short ones, mostly for school purposes, but I never actually finished another novel. That's part of the reason why I wanted to start blogging - I haven't really written anything in a long time, and I thought it might be good to "work out", as it were. So yeah. You're reading a very long work-out. Congratulations!

Lastly, I want to read more, and more diverse things.
I do everything in phases, which is fun on one hand because I get to focus on something in a more profound way, often to the point of obession. But it also means that other - proabably interesting - things get neglected altogether.
More specifically, I want to read some more non-fiction about my working area.

So, that's about all I can think of now.
What are your strenghts and weaknesses? What do you like, and what would you like to see different?

Tell me here, or feel free to write about it on your own blog.

Good night!